I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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