Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
