when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The adults are the big ones right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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