he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
