At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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