look no pants
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
