you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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