god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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