I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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