if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
