Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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