Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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