i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had to cum in my sink.
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