Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im holly from the hills drunk
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
