At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
