I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize