I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
