Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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