There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
