dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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