I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
