Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
