i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
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He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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