Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
