Screwed.edu
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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