i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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