Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We are two peas in an std pod
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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