So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
