I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
