a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
