It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
