no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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