Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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