i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I love how my cats smell like pot.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He shit in the fireplace
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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