So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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