JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
