Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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