This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize