I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need to calm my uterus...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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