Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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