morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
