I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
