I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
