the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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