I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
