some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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