I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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