I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
