Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
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the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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