im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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