I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
