Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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