I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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