Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses