That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
