I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
