When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
