found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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