i permit you to call me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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