Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize