i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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