Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
