He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
