I think I died a long time ago.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
