I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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