um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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