real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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